Monday, October 29, 2007
I can't believe I said what I just said
Hello my little enfants! It's been a long time, I know. I've been... occupied? I didn't even post during the biggest school break of the year: summer.But now I want to make up for that. Hate me anyway, and I'll understand.
At any rate, life since May the 25th has been... well, 16. Wow, my birthday seems an eternity ago now. I always celebrate with a pile of good friends, and then for two months after I feel completely alone. Sawa moved back in March, Tif moved in July, and Diffy was off doing her Saskatch things. I did visit her briefly in August. With SAWA! Always good times. Expecially at the grand family reunion of Sawa. Diffy and I sat through it, enjoying good food, and finding 101 uses for an empty wine bottle. That's right folks.
So after visiting Toontown, I hitched a ride with Sawa. The Hat is pretty fun. We shopped. I want to get a new pair of Chucks at that mall, because they were so cheap... *shifty eyes*
So I haven't seen her since almost exactly a month ago. That was at the CIBC Run for the Cure and we completed 5KM BABY! I feel that all my training over the summer hasn't completely gone to waste. I also raised $150 for the event, and for that I am also proud. Oh, oh, oh, we went because of KALAN. Yeah, he asked his fans to run for his mom, so we did. I still can't believe that his new album is finally out. It just brings a relief to myself and I think for many other fans. And it's alright... I mean, if these are the songs he wants to be known for and enjoys singing, and he's happy, I'm happy.
I miss my Sawa. Speaking of friends in faraway places, a good friend of mine in my class made quite the comment today. She stated that the friendship between Diffy and I won't last. Highly unlikely since I am planning to live in her basement following high school. I mean, I can't imagine it. Not even marriage will force us apart. As in, marriage to other people. O.o
I'm debating at whether or not I should share my dream with you. It was indeed interesting. It's one of those dreams that would be considered a nightmare to those I share with, but it really wasn't. See, I learned that death in dreams is really a good thing. And mine included a lot of death, but in the dream I was completely relaxed and carefree, the sun was shining, and when I woke up I thought nothing of it. There's hardly anything in my dream books that inform me of what the dream is telling me, and my memory of it is slipping fast. I think that I'll jsut leave it it at that. Although, my more recent dream of last night pwns all of yours. Really.
Now I have a lot of things to do. I'll make a list here for reference and if it's left uncompleted until sometime around March, then there's a problem.
Finish Social Studies Essay outline
Spraypaint ballet slippers black
Finish carving pumpkin
Do 13 random questions of Chapter 2 Review in Physics
Finish Chemistry homework
Find black fabric for Halloween costume
I'll now leave you with a final statement: Are your jeans worth 2000 dollars? Kalan Porter's are.
Carolyn blogged at 3:50 p.m.
Friday, May 25, 2007
We all wanna party when the MCR concert ends
(ALL BLENDS MADE BY ME. DO NOT CLAIM AS YOUR OWN. They are arranged in the order they were made [as you can tell by my slowly improving skills]. All pictures used are screencaps, also made by me, of the IDLY music video.)Well, as you can see, this post is pretty long already. So let's cut to the chase, shall we?
NOTHING WILL EVER COMPARE TO THE NIGHT OF MAY 18, 2007. IT WAS EVERYTHING I EXPECTED PLUS 100x MORE! MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE IS THE MOST TALENTED BAND OF THIS GENERATION WITH A POWERFUL MESSAGE! I LOVE MCR!
Now that that's done, you can finish reading my post, and then watch lovely vids of the band at that very same show... I relive it every single day. EXACTLY a week ago, I was THERE. How can it be?
So you're probably wondering about that depression. It wasn't as bad as the Kalan Porter concert. I'll admit it. But that's probably because I had gone through post concert depression before... perhaps this is a really good sign, that I won't have to suffer that way after concerts like the way I did. The depression does not hit directly after the concert, thankfully. It takes a little while... for the MCR concert, it hit me as soon as I stepped into my room with my luggage, and could see my artwork and poster of Gerard and the band on my walls; I sobbed. It wasn't as bad, like I said, but it did last longer than one day. Luckily, I had started work again two days following it and it took my mind off of it for a while. Now I am just thankful to have gone, and look forward to the next time around... hopefully with Mikey this time? Aww, man, it is SO worth it.
So what else has occured in my life since my last post? Hosting a Japanese student was fantastic: she was sooooo much fun and we share so many memories. Aww man, I wish I could go to Japan right now just to see her. (No, I did not know MCR is there this weekend...)
So you're probably wondering about that depression. It wasn't as bad as the Kalan Porter concert. I'll admit it. But that's probably because I had gone through post concert depression before... perhaps this is a really good sign, that I won't have to suffer that way after concerts like the way I did. The depression does not hit directly after the concert, thankfully. It takes a little while... for the MCR concert, it hit me as soon as I stepped into my room with my luggage, and could see my artwork and poster of Gerard and the band on my walls; I sobbed. It wasn't as bad, like I said, but it did last longer than one day. Luckily, I had started work again two days following it and it took my mind off of it for a while. Now I am just thankful to have gone, and look forward to the next time around... hopefully with Mikey this time? Aww, man, it is SO worth it.
So what else has occured in my life since my last post? Hosting a Japanese student was fantastic: she was sooooo much fun and we share so many memories. Aww man, I wish I could go to Japan right now just to see her. (No, I did not know MCR is there this weekend...)
The band trip taken right before MCR was quite enjoyable. I really had a great time. Wednesday night, Diffy and I went out to dinner with two dudes we are good firends with, and it was very pleasant. Next day we hit Radium Hot Springs... now THAT is relaxation. Also enjoyable. That night we watched a band concert in a church... sort of enjoyable. I think it would be more exciting for me to be in a band like that when I am older, but watching it was very difficult as I had trouble keeping focus. Day after that, which was the day of MCR, did not start out as a very good day. Not a bad day... just one of those lame days I suppose. We went shopping, and I am happy with my new shirts, but I was late for the bus, even though I wasn't the last one there, I was hungry and annoyed. And I got to see SARAH!!! She watched our band perform at an elementary school, and then we headed back to Calgary as the rest of the band went home. We booked tickets to Shrek 3 the next morning and bought books. Then we waited in our hotel until... MCR! And you know the rest form there.
I am hopelessly obsessed with yet another man in my life (what else is new?). His name is Blake Lewis. I am so proud of how far he went in the competition. He ended his Idol journey at the perfect time: the idol single does NOT suit him, whatsoever, and now he is guaranteed to have a record out soon and he can do the music that does suit him. I'm also happy I was able to see him until the very last night of Idol. ^_^
Oh, and it would appear that Blake had been digging in Gerard's closet before the finale...
This morning I thought I was going to die! Sounds exciting, doesn't it? I don't know what happened, but my mother woke me up later than usual, and I stretch my legs in my bed, and a muscle felt like... stuck... and it hurt so freakin bad. :( Eventually I messaged it and the pain went away. I prepared getting dressed and started feeling super dizzy. Then, an immediate impulse to throw up. I rushed to the washroom, or at least tried too, because it felt like I was blacking out, and I couldn't see a thing. I was eventually laying on my stomach in the bathtub because I felt the need to be upside down. Once the sickness weared off a little, I just felt overly exhausted and lied in the corner of the bathroom for a while. I felt so emo. My mom let me sleep for about an hour and then I went to school feeling great. :D
Any idea what is wrong with me? I don't think I ate anything weird yesterday. And... I'm NOT pregnant. Hee.
Here you go Diffy, and anyone else who comes along. Note that none of these videos were taken by me.
*sigh* I miss them so much now.
Carolyn blogged at 8:38 p.m.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
I'm your biggest fan, would you leave me lying here?
Mood: Satisfactory. A little hungry. Song: My Way Home is Through You, MCROmg, it's time!!! Yesterday, I completed reading, for the second time in my lifetime, Airborn by Kenneth Oppel. And you know what that means? Exerpts.
Where to begin? I just love this book. Well, it'll take me a while to find them all, so whatever time this post claims I posted it, isn't close to the actual time I posted this.
(WARNING: Some of the following may appear to contain sexual content to those who have not taken the time to read this book [you should consider it. Really.] but there really isn't. I promise.)
"This is the tour? Just you and... him."
She said him like I was something oozing from the bottom of a trash can.
"Watch out for the woman with the scary hair," he whispered to me, as we traded places.
"I know all about her," I whispered back.
"Said her tea tasted like a fish had bathed in it."
"Should have taken the poor fellow out earlier," I told him. "Then she wouldn't have known."
"We'd better go take a look at this stream and report back to the captain," said Baz. "Everyone's agreed that I found it, right, and I had to fight a crocodile and piranhas on the way? Good. Thank you very much Miss de Vries, you're a font of wisdom."
"I'm glad being shipwrecked appeals to you."
"Captain Walken made a point of avoiding that word."
"Well, he was trying to keep everyone jolly, wasn't he. It's no good having everyone running around screaming and eating each other."
"I wouldn't run around screaming," she said. "I can see eating someone in a pinch, though. If it really came down to it, I mean."
"I don't doubt it."
"Come on, Matt Cruse, don't you find it just a bit exciting, being here?"
"No."
She looked at me as if I'd suggested we stop breathing for a few hours.
"What about Miss Simpkins!" I cried.
"Her? She'll sleep for hours. She excels at sleeping."
Not much of a chaperone, our Miss Simpkins.
"But I'm not around," I said miserably. "Not where it counts, anyway. The ship, that's where I should be. Not gallivanting around the forest, playing scientist and wrapping up bones in your knickers! I've never seen so much underwear!"
"Some of it belongs to Miss Simpkins, I'll have you know!" she retorted angrily.
"We can always leave you behind, Mr. Vlad!" one of the crew called out.
"And who would cook for you, imbecile!" Mr. Vlad looked at me and smiled. "You're a good boy, Mr. Cruse. You understand food, not like some of the lunkheads around here!"
"You two were in a cave together?" said Miss Simpkins in horror.
"Yes," said Kate, "and it was very, very dark."
They all thought we were off in the forest whispering sweet nothings to each other. I tried to imagine Kate whispering a sweet nothing to someone, and couldn't.
"Can I finish off your mango juice?"
"No." I pushed the mug away from her reaching hand. "It's spiked with something. He's trying to get us drunk so we'll slip up if we're lying."
"Good luck to him," she said. "I'm not the slightest bit slipsy."
"You just said 'slipsy.'"
"Do I have time to visit the toilets?" she asked.
I stared back at her, incredulous. "You can go in the forest later."
"I certainly won't," she said.
"Suit yourself."
"All very well for boys," she muttered.
"Take your pants off!" I told Kate.
"What?"
She pulled her hands free, and her lips trembled and were wet with tears.
I kissed her mouth.
I wanted to, so I did it.
... "Do it again."
"That was very nice," she said. "That was the second time I've been kissed."
"You were kissed before?" I said jealously.
"Yes, just now by you, but I thought I'd count each time."
"Then, we'll take some of theirs," said Kate. "We'll get inside and make some noise. They'll send one man out to investigate. We wait for him. We whack him--"
"Whack him?" I repeated.
"Yes, bash him with something very hard, like a frying pan or a lug wrench, right in the skull."
Kate looked at me, impressed. "Is there anything you can't do, Mr. Cruse?" she asked.
"Can't sing," I said.
"Really?"
"Not worth spit. It's a terrible sound I make."
"Well, are we all ready to whack some pirates?" Kate said.
Meh, that's all for now. The entire book is good, really. Just some memorable quotes for your enjoyment.
Any other news since my last post? Well, no... except, Gerard left a letter on the official site. Apparently the whole band feels that Mikey needs a bit of time off with his sweetheart. A honeymoon, to be exact. And I feel very happy for him, despite that it's highly unlikely he'll be back in time for me to see him perform with the rest of the band in mid-May. No problem now, I'll just have to find a time to see them again in the future, all five of them together, won't I?
It's 7:45pm here now. Like I said, it took me a while.
Carolyn blogged at 5:54 p.m.
Friday, April 20, 2007
..Why'd you put your backpack on if you won't just take a hike?...
Lol, I love this song. Anyway, I am posting this entry through a current spare I have at school. No, I'm not on another week-long break... unfortunetely...
Okay, so school's not the problem. Well, sometimes it is. The work hasn't been much of a problem. But being in this building... it's really getting to me.
I experienced something today. At lunch, Meredith left for Subway... I didn't feel like going. It was fine. I didn't count on Tifani leaving for 7eleven though. So I was pretty lonely. Viktorya offered me her seat at her table to eat my lunch, which was generous, considering I accidently penetrated her arm with my pen in Science earlier that morning. I sat there, eating in silence, in isolation from the conversation speaking-wise, but I listened intently. The bunch was talking about colleges and universities, but eventually they came upon a different topic. I really hope they don't come across this blog entry and think that all I write about is their conversations. So instead of going into detail, I'd just like to share something I learned during that discussion. When you notice that outcast, sitting in the corner looking out the window, you may think they aren't very social, you may poke fun at them among your group of friends or ignore their existence entirely, but consider that there's a story behind every person, and that one person that you may look as "weird" and the "loner" likely has a sad story. I learned that in my own exclusion at lunch today, and it isn't fun to be lonely when surrounded by people. I just wish that sometimes I wouldn't judge. It's one thing I could do without.
Anyyyywayyyy... I have a Japanese student who will be staying at my house a week from now. Yes, I am in grade ten and the program is intended for junior high, but.... the Japanese outnumber us. =P So my vice principal needed help and Vikki and I took the opporunity to have another student, despite our old age. She's only one year younger than I am, actually, and we'll be taking her to many places. There is little to do in Canada, but much to see.
I recieved my package from Waterloo recently, and I have to say that I have mixed feelings about the seminar. I am really thrilled to be chosen and I know this will be a perfect opportunity, especially to find out what Science classes I'd like to take in the future. But I'm also likely to be missing my exams while over there... all of them. And there might not be time to study. But... too late now. Haha. I picked going during the June week over the May week because MCR is simply more important. MCR. They claim to save lives with their concerts. So... I have to go, right? It's worth it. End of story.
I can't believe how much I've written so far. But I think I've worn out everything... the complaining has ended. For now. I thought I might actually sleep in this morning. I thought it was Saturday. But instead I wake to the reality of Friday, get up, and arrive to the bus stop EARLY to find that the bus is about to LEAVE. Ya, apparently she picks us up 4 minutes earlier every day now. And I have 22 freakin' minutes to waste before my first class which could otherwise be spent sleeping.
Ok, the whining has ended for good now.
Happy Friday! Can't wait to hear Madison's Friday song. *smirk*
Carolyn blogged at 11:59 a.m.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Oops...
Mood: meh. Worried but okay in general. Song: Nice Dream, RadioheadOk, so quick update before I post this quiz... I've gone absolutely nowhere with my homework/exam today. I wanted to finish it. Today. But I did quite a lot of research... I have a theme and line... woopee. *sigh* But I work best under pressure... it's the sad reality for moi. I'm just gonna be slightly busy tomorrow... so hopefully I can go to bed a little earlier so I can also wake earlier. Oh, and be sure to read the post below this as I posted it... I think 22 hours ago. Anyway, onto the quiz.
A) AVAILABLE: Yes, me is.
B) BIRTHDAY: June 27! Almost 16! =)
C) CRUSHING?: *shifty eyes* It's not coming out into the open... =P
D) DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Come to think of it, I am thirsty. Holy moly, I only drink water yet the last drink I had was hot chocolate...
E) EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Well, I suppose that would be Diffy.
F) FAVORITE GROUP/BAND/SINGER?: Hehe! Group? I dunno of any I like... lol. Band? My Chemical Romance. Singer? Kalan Porter. Yes, they are SO alike... *rolls eyes*
G) GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Gummi Bunnies!
H) HOMETOWN: I live.. in... wait for it... BELLEVUE! Don't stalk me! =(
I) INSTRUMENT(S): Pretty decent flutist(Is that right? lol), amateur pianist, and sucky guitarist. =P
J) JUICE: If I ever see another juice box.... *cringes* I like cranberry believe it or not. O.o
K) KILLED SOMEONE: Not that I know of!
L) LONGEST CAR RIDE: How about 3 days? To Quebec? Anyone wanna do that AGAIN?
M) MILKSHAKE FLAVOUR: I hate making milkshakes! But I suppose banana. =P
O) ONE WISH: I want to be a wicked guitarist. =D
P) PERSON YOU TALKED TO LAST: My sister. GRRR.
Q) QUIZZES TAKEN LAST: I took a quiz to figure what My Chemical Romance song I am. Unfortunetely, it was really lame, and the author needs to be exposed to my friend, grammer.
R) REASONS TO SMILE: MCR concert. Seeing my favorite people on Monday. *is smiling*
S) SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Well, I am currently listening to the live version of I Don't Love You and as you can see from the beginning of this post, it takes me longer than the length of one song to post an entry.
T) TIME YOU WOKE UP: 9:30. Not too bad, considering I don't even know when I fell asleep...
U) UNDERWEAR: White with colourful polka dots.
V) VEGETABLES: Lettuce, Tomatoes, Cucumbers, and that's about it. lol
W) WORST HABITS: Augh! Where do I begin? Procrastinating, being an annoyance, being an airhead, complaining... the list goes on. I'm lucky I have people who love me.
X) X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Just the one on my arm, methinks...
Y) YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL: Lemur! And Sea Turtles... and Sharks. Hehe.
Z) ZODIAC SIGN: Cancer. I think it suits me. Me loves horoscopes.
Alrighty, I dunno when the next time I post will be... but hopefully once more before the awesomely amazing concert. =D I am getting a Japanese student soon so maybe I can update you alls on that. Umm... okay.
Carolyn
Carolyn blogged at 11:07 p.m.
I've been so lost without you...
Mood: I honestly couldn't tell you. Song: My head is ringing with Blake... tis nice.Alrighty now.
I figured it was probably time to post.
Don't accuse me of procrastinating. I promised one post at least every break... and you're getting it now. It's still Easter break, just the near end of it! Oh gosh, where did the time go? The February break was awesome. I enjoyed myself and it took its time.
Easter has been significantly quicker. And I'm not so... bubbly. Despite all the wonderful Spring happenings!!! Well, I suppose one of the reasons is... Sarah.
I miss her so much. I miss all my friends right now, we're all in different places... but I'm stuck in the place we all live, which you know, has a lack of excitement from time to time. But the fact that Sarah won't be at school anymore... it breaks my heart. But I don't want to tell her that, because the last thing I want is for her to go into a deep depression over where she is... she needs to enjoy herself there, make new friends, even though it's hard for all of us really. And even though she will read this post... I miss you Sarah. But you mustn't lose hope.
So at any rate, I did complete some things on my to-do list this Easter. I cleaned some of my room. I've reallly progressed at playing guitar, although now I have a feeling it's as far as I can go. The chords are so hard for me. I CAN'T DO IT, DAMMIT! I don't even know if it's my nails anymore. You have to be... nail-less. Or maybe it's just me. I dunno. Other things I've done... well, the other half of my English essay is NOT one of them. I'm really getting worried now, that my teacher may not accept it because it should have been done in class but we ran out of time. And I know I'm an IDIOT when it comes to these things but I was really having a breakdown that day. Although something that lifted my spirits was going to Meredith's for a sleepover! That was quite fun. Especially seeing Sarah, and all her pertiful new clothing... and having Tif there also was just awesome. Hee, the four of us. I really don't want those moments to end.
So what else is there? Ahh.. of course... I can only keep it away for so long. Yes, I've been reading Airborn! Every night, in fact, and I'm almost finished. Kenneth is an absolute GENIUS! I love this book. And I want the movie to be out. Really badly! And I want Emma Watson to do Kate de Vries. Also badly!
If there's more I need to say... let it be now. Blake Lewis shall rule American Idol history. The scrolling song info on my Sirius Satelite radio is UPSIDE DOWN. It is really late. I am going to Waterloo in June for a computer science seminar. I bought cream eggs today- my FAVORITE Easter treat. I need a shmoopy. My mom ordered Paint Shop Pro 8 off ebay. And KALAN PORTER FINISHED RECORDING HIS SECOND ALBUM! Thank the lord, this moment has come. Now to wait until I can hold it in my hands... meanwhile I get to see the amazing My Chemical Romance in May! It's all too much to take in. I'm considering trying to do something about Saturday, May 19th. I'm really foreboding it. I mean, really now, it is most difficult to be seriously impatiently awaiting with much excitement for a moment in life, and then really dreading the moment to come right after. Augh, I will need drugs.
Well, I suppose I have told you everything! Now run along, shoo. It is 12:30am here and my body is tired but my mind is racing around like the crazy weather around here. I honestly don't know what to make of myself... I'm just really messed up right now.
Please enjoy your last moments of Easter. I know I probably won't.
Carolyn
Carolyn blogged at 12:07 a.m.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Doing this when I should be doing other things...
Name 11 people you can think of right off the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 11 people. This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly listthe names first.. No cheating!!!
1. Meredith
2. Sarah
3. Emelia
4. Sheridan
5. Nobuho
6. Zach
7. Hadyn
8. Tifani
9. Nolan
10.Viktorya
11.Mr. Auffrey
DON'T LOOK AHEAD UNLESS U FILLED UP THE TOP!
How did you meet #4? Probably sometime randomly in grade 5. Didn't get to really KNOW her till we went to Japan. Oh man, that was fun.
What would you do if you hadn't met number 1? I dunno. *cries* Life would be...depressing.
What would you do if 1 and 2 were going out? Hehe. I'd feel ditched, then.
How did you meet 8? Grade five again, but I don't remember it. She's been a great friend though last year and this year.
What do u think of number 7? He's pretty cool. I guess many times he's just there... pretty creepy really.
What would u do if #3 confessed they loved you? I would be onfused, haha! I think I would just feel really really uncomfortable and awkward.
Where does 10 live? By the lake! Wow!
Is number 2 your friend? I love Sarah! :)
Who's 9's best friend? I asked Nolan, and he said his grandmother. So there you go.
Did you ever eat around 6? He usually eats around us! He sits either beside our table o at our table. Then Tifani has to beat him out of her chair.
Do you miss number 1? Yes! I immenely miss her already! MEREDITH! *HUGS*
Who's 4 dating? Um... some Japanse guy maybe? lol
What is your opinion of number 6? It's nice having him around to talk to. Although he usually has dark thoughts and thinks everyone should die a slow and painful death, but yeah.
What would you do if 3 and 9 were going out? I would probably be sleeping, as it would only happen in a dream! Oh my, now THAT would be the talk of he school for sure.
Would you marry #5? I doubt she's agree to it. It'd be a long distance relationship.
When did you last see 11? Just now. He's on the computer supervising the class. Woot!
Do you love #8? Yes! Tifani is greatly loved.
Ever slept in the same room as any of the numbers? Meredith, Viktorya, Sarah, Emelia.
How many of their phone numbers do you have? Merediths, Sarah (though I forget it often) and... Viktorya. Think that's it.
Carolyn blogged at 8:38 a.m.